Doing devotions vs. living devotionally
While visiting a friend in the hospital the other day, I ran into her pastor and used the opportunity to ask him some questions that I have asked a lot of people lately.
After reading books like “What is a Family” by Edith Schaeffer and “The Shaping of a Christian Family” by Elisabeth Elliot (I highly recommend both these books, by the way), one gets a lovely idea of what Christian family life is supposed to look like.
More specifically, I had visions of how my children would be enthusiastic learners and more importantly children who had an obvious love for God, His Word and His people.
I grew up in a devout home, but not one in which we had much of a spiritual life together beyond the church. My husband is very faithful to lead family devotions each day and is creative about involving the children and keeping their interest.
The questions I asked this pastor are, “What does the life of a spiritually alive young person look like? What characteristics should a godly young person have?”
As for me, I became a believer in high school at a church retreat. From that time on I was a sort of closet Jesus freak. I loved reading God’s word; His truths were so rich to me after I had worshipped Him so long from afar, believing I had to earn His approval and a ticket to heaven by my works.
I had a definite conversion in which “mine eyes diffused a quickening ray.” I am not expecting that my children each have a Damascus road experience. But I long to see them demonstrate somehow the reality of the truths they have heard all their lives.
The pastor suggested a book titled “Spiritual Birthline” by Stephen Smallman to understand the whole process of conversion. I have not gotten this book yet, but may in the near future. Then he said one thing which really made me think. He said there is a difference between having devotions and living devotionally. That, if the only time your children heard you tell about God’s truths was one time a day, you are not saying enough. That put me in mind of a book I had just bought at this year’s Home Ed Expo which I (surprise!) had not read yet. This book is “Everyday Talk” by John A. Younts and is subtitled, “Talking Freely and Naturally about God with Your Children.”
This week I dug this book out from under one of my piles and started reading it. What Mr. Younts said really hit me between the eyes.
The key verse he points to is Deuteronomy 6:6-7 “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them dilligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down and when you sit up” (NKJV).
Like you, I have heard these verses many times before. But just listen to this explanation of how to apply them to your family life:
“The kind of talk that God requires here is talk that happens in the normal routine of life, every day. God wants you to talk about His world. God wants you to talk about what He does and how people respond to Him. He wants you to do this when you are at home, when you are out and about, when you relax. He wants you to talk about Him with love and awe every day. He wants you to talk freely and naturally to your children about His commands and how to obey them day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute.”
That is sure a revelation for me. I always thought of this verse being about the importance of religious instruction but have never seen these verses as an encouragement to use every opportunity, every activity to talk to your children about God’s truths.
But it is not just the talk that Mr. Younts says needs to happen, but your walk as well. Notice that these verses say that “these words which I command you today shall be in your (the parent’s) heart. OK, so there is no escaping it. Once again I am convicted about making time, whatever it takes, to have a vital devotional time each day, including a time for putting God’s Word in my heart (memorizing and meditating) so that I will have an overflow. Mr. Younts describes it beautifully. “Moses says that these commands of God are to be so valuable to you that your heart cannot contain them. His commands are to dominate your thinking and overflow from your heart into the lives of your kids as you walk along life’s road.”
One of my first thoughts upon reading this was to say, “But that is just not natural for me; it sounds so contrived and even forced to talk all the time about God’s goodness and truths.’
Again Mr. Younts explains what this talk is not. “This does not mean that you must quote the Bible all day, or spout systematic theology in every conversation. It does mean that as you grasp a profound truth of God’s Word, you will find ways to explain it to your children.”
One example of how a mom can begin this everyday talk with her children is talking about an everyday event that presents itself in marvelous displays — the weather. “Wow!” you exclaim. “Look at that sunset. Isn’t it gracious of God to add so much beauty to the ordinary motion of the sun as it crosses the sky.” Or, “Children, isn’t God’s power awesome to orchestrate such a storm?” Or “I’m sorry about the rain ruining our plans. We will just have to trust that our loving God has His reasons for not wanting us to go to the park today. After all He is in complete control.”
Mr. Younts says, “This concept, of course, applies to areas of life other than just the weather. The principle of Deuteronomy 6 is that your everyday comments are the ones that teach your children most profoundly of your view of God. Your interaction with God in everyday ordinary, nonchurch life is the most powerful tool of influence that you have with your children.”
One other way in which you make God’s truths relevant to your children is in how your react when they sin. Ouch! Here is one of my obvious weaknesses. Mr. Younts explains:
“Parents, when your children sin and they are not respectful to you, how do you want to respond? If you make the matter primarily a personal offense against yourself and respond in anger and frustration, you will do what any ordinary parent might do. You might get angry with them. You might just let your children know how painful this is for you. You might yell. You might walk around in silent pain. You might tell your kids they have gone too far this time. All these responses would be ordinary and totally understandable.”
But we are called to be an extraordinary people. It is not natural, it is not easy but His grace awaits us. Mr. Younts warns us of what happens when we forget this.
“Parents, when you give in to anger, resentment or self-pity at your children’s bad behavior, you make yourself the center of the problem. You are loving yourself first and most. You must love your kids enough to show them the danger of their behavior. They need to see that their first problem is with God, and only secondarily with you. ... You must be more concerned for them than for yourself, and you must be concerned most of all for God. By modeling patience, love, self-control — and all the fruit of the Spirit — you teach your children how extraordinary God is.”
The book has chapters on not letting little sins slip by, on the stormy adolescent years, the importance of your home environment, worldliness, music and other temptations. I highly recommend this book.
My plan for implementing everyday talk is to use mealtimes as a reminder to say something about God’s truth to my children. Perhaps at breakfast I could share what I read in my own quiet time. Then at lunch I could comment on the weather or other aspect of His creation and at dinner I could just express my thankfulness to God for some instance of His goodness earlier in the day. This is a small perhaps somewhat contrived start but one I trust God will use to build more everyday talk naturally into our family life.
This issue of Esprit has several articles that speak of the importance of words. Be sure to read Nancy Wilson’s piece on the tongue. We just cannot hear instruction like that too much! Also William Safire. It is important that what we say is what we mean to say, and that we are not misunderstood because of carelessness.
May all our words and all our everyday talk give glory to our matchless God!
—JMT
