Choose Joy
Most often the thoughts shared in this space are about areas of my life in which I hope for change, for improvement, for grace. We can be hopeful for the God we serve works with broken pots, and frames of dust. In this very busy Christmas and new year’s season, one becomes even more aware of the fragility of one’s frame.
There seem to be so many frustrations. Expectations are high; time seems to be at a premium. This season, this time of joy, I am longing to live my life more intentionally, to choose joy despite circumstances which might lead me to be anything but joyful.
One book which I read several years ago and still appreciate is Seasons of a Mother’s Heart by Sally Clarkson who, with her husband Clay, wrote the very helpful homeschooling classic, Educating the Wholehearted Child. I highly recommend the Clarkson books as practical, encouraging and inspiring.
In Seasons of a Mother’s Heart, Sally writes of an incident we can all relate to.
“Several years ago at Christmas, I had planned a special time to bake cookies with the kids. I expected it to be a precious Christmas memory. I also expected to get twelve dozen cookies made for Christmas plates. I had melted some chocolate for making candycoated pretzels and turned away to work on a batch of cookies in the oven. When I turned back around to see how the kids were doing, I reeled at what I saw. Nathan, three years old at the time, had used the melted chocolate as fi nger paints. It covered his hands, face, hair and clothes, not to mention the cabinets and fl oor. Unfortunately my anger made a bigger mess out of the situation. I missed the joy of that moment but time and experience have tempered my temper since then. Today, I would get a big laugh out of my chocolate-covered child and take a few snapshots. I would choose joy.”
OK, so what has Sally learned in those intervening years? How can one quell the rising anger and choose joy when confronted with a change in plans out of our control which also includes a big mess, thus upping the ante of our emotions?
Sally talks of the tension between the ideal life and daily realities. Sure we should plan those wonderful family times, but we should not be surprised when real life interrupts and we should try to see those interruptions as unexpected opportunites to take joy. There are two biblical principles which help us to make the right choice of joy over frustration or anger, Sally notes.
One is giving thanks “in everything” (I Thess. 5:16-18). This is not easy as Sally explains.
“My sinful heart might try to counter that it is the lousy circumstances that have caused me to be out of God’s will, but that’s just rationalization — it is my response to them that put me out of God’s will. That is why God admonishes me to be joyful and to give thanks ‘in all circumstances.’ When I do that, no matter how bad the circumstances, I am aknowledging that he is in control. It is an act of faith. I can choose, by faith, to see God’s hand within any and all of the circumstances of my life.”
As for me I have to constantly remind myself that God who is sovereign is not up in heaven wringing His hands wondering what He will do now that my plans have gone awry!
The second principle from God’s word is contentment (Phil. 4:11-13). Sally tells us what contentment does not come from and what it actually is.
“Contentedness will not come from being more organized, sleeping longer, being a better wife, having a better home. using better materials, having more time to yourself, or whatever it is you think might help. Contentedness is learned in the process of daily accepting life as God gives it to you, and adjusting your expectations to life’s limitations.”
This is a tall order. The patterns of getting all worked up when things do not work out as planned are deeply ingrained in our mode of operation. But we can pray for His grace and avail ourselves of his provision of quieting our souls in His Word. Sally sums it up well.
“It all comes down to this: joy is the result of the choices that we make…. So make the choice to celebrate life with your family. It is so easy to think that life consits of the assorted responsibilities, tasks and crises that fi ll up the hours of each homeschooling day. But it doesn’t. The part of life that matters most is the moments and memories that happen each day — the ones that won’t be forgotten.”
This Christmas — Take joy!
— JMT
Excerpts from Seasons of a Mothers Heart by Sally Clarkson, Whole Heart Ministries, newsletters available by e-mail and snail mail.
