Teatime: A Little Feast Every Day
November begins the feasting time of year. Thanksgiving, Christmas — so much to celebrate. With the onset of cooler weather, you may wish to incorporate the lovely habit of teatime with your children.
The idea may seem daunting — a little civil ceremony with your children? How is this possible? When my children were very young I read an article titled “The Virtues of Tea” by Lynn Bruce. It showed me how easily this could be done and the benefits that all could reap from these quiet moments.
Along with a hot drink and cookies, you can serve up a smidgen of art, music, poetry. Even my boys learned to love this break in our day. One of my fondest memories is watching my little boys running around the yard in their tough army camouflage gear, executing tactical maneuvers and calling out to me, “Mom, is it teatime yet?”
For Lynn’s full article, you may go to amblesideonline.org and click on advisory articles. But I could not resist sharing an excerpt of the article here since Lynn so graciously gave me permission and her words are still positively inspiring.
A pot of tea can change your children’s lives. It did mine one day!
On that fall Friday afternoon, with lessons finished and the children happily creating a parallel universe of some sort in the backyard, I brewed myself a little pot of Earl Grey and settled into an oomphy chair to revel in a moment of satisfaction over what I appraised as a well-rounded week of lessons — the rarest of rarities! But then, through the steam rising from my cup, my eyes happened upon a stack of oh-sothoughtfully chosen poetry and art books gathering dust in a corner. Ohhh, I thought, then there’s that …
Feeling less smug, I rued the many weeks that slip past with no time to squeeze in these disciplines of beauty. Days are consumed with managing the flow of routines and getting necessary facts into little heads like stuffing kindling into a firebox. But what use is dry kindling without lighting and stoking a fire? I sighed over unexplored poems, art, symphonies, Psalms, even family folklore — those inspirations that spark the kindling in our heads and draw fire and light into the furnace of the heart.
I knew the dust would just gather deeper unless I found the missing habit, the pleasant ritual, that would weave the loose ends of these “disciplines of beauty” into the fabric of our days. I gazed into my cup of tea, growing cooler by the minute.
Suddenly resolved to minimize my margin for motherly regrets, I dusted off a poetry book, fetched more teacups and called in the children. And though I did not realize it ’til many pots of tea later, in that one resolute motion the countenance of our afternoons was forever lightened. By some felicity of momentary grace I just stumbled upon that pleasant ritual to steadily stoke those fires — daily teatime!
Around 3:30 p.m. or so, I simply stop whatever I’m doing — regardless of how much laundry is undone or whether school is finished or whether I have a clue about dinner — and enliven the air with some Bach or Handel or whomever we’re thinking about at the time, and put the kettle on. When the whistle blows, the children know by now to wrap up whatever they’re doing and come set the table; tea is steeping!
Our poetry books now have a handier home in my kitchen hutch, right below my teapot shelf. When tea is served, I read some poems, just a few, and we may talk about them or not. Sometimes we read silly poems, sometimes classics, some old, some new. Other times, we look at an art book. Some days we read a Psalm. I keep it as short as the day calls for. Then, we just linger for as long as the children care to visit. This little moment of ceremony has transformed us more than anything I can think of. It’s what my children will remember long after the rest of it has fuzzed to a blur.
Now, before you protest that this sort of thing is beyond the realm of your reality, please understand: this is not an element of some sort of dream life. It often occurs amid piles of dirty dishes and unfolded laundry, atop a kitchen floor that, swept, would yield a hearty contribution to the compost!
But I have confidence that the Lord will honor the good intentions of a mother’s heart and somehow redeem this time for me in my busy life. Isaiah 30:15, “For thus saith the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel; In returning and rest shall ye be saved; in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength …”
I must confess that I do not now keep our tea times the way we used to when children were little but I am now resolved to redouble my efforts in that direction. I will say that when your children are younger is the time to begin this habit as I have found that older children have busier schedules, especially in the afternoon, the ideal tea time.
When my daughter was about 9 or 10 and sons were 5 and 7, I would have special tea cups and saucers for her and myself and special mugs with saucers for the boys. My daughter and I would have tea. The boys just liked hot chocolate. We all liked cookies and I would collect special imported ones from the discount store or would just use Voortman brand from the supermarket.
My parents are Dutch and teatime or coffee time was a part of my upbringing. Cookie is, by the way a Dutch word, meaning little baked good. In Dutch it is spelled koekje. As in the Dutch tradition, no more than one cookie is eaten at teatime!
I have real silver Dutch tea spoons and also tried to use lump sugar in an antique sugar bowl with silver tongs. It is not really important what you use; just make it as special as you can to make a memory and a tradition.
If you do not have much experience with teas, I would suggest an English breakfast tea, or one of the Zinger herb teas if you do not wish to hop your children up on caffeine.
As Lynn suggested, during teatimes we read seasonal poetry or selections from the poet we are studying. We also put on the music from the composer for the term. For musical suggestions see the article on on Page 4.
You will find that this time benefits you as well as your children.
Keeping tea has other virtues for mothers as well. In the absence of the hustle and bustle of the dinner hour, we can more quietly train the habits, as Charlotte Mason would say; more steadily teach little nuances of mannerliness, and how to handle fine things with care. Maybe the English and the Chinese have known this for centuries, but handling fine things automatically quiets the temperament — a child in a wild mood will come to a tea cup and calm down just at the prospect of lifting it.
Lynn is right. My children are not the only ones calmed down by the teatime habit. Sipping a steaming hot beverage slowly while listening to lovely music, reading poetry or looking at art masterpieces, is a balm to a harried mother’s soul. And there is a physiological and spiritual benefit as well.
With a little snack under our belts mid-afternoon, we avoid the sinking blood sugar crankies that used to greet Daddy when he came in the door every evening. Now we get through evening dinner preparations with a bit more cheer, and that means a lot to the man of the house! *** It occurs to me that this daily habit of taking a moment away for renewal is in harmony with our creation, for how does our Father teach us, from the very beginning of things, to glorify Him? Through observing a time of rest. So it comes as no surprise that He slips into our tea conversation so often, and that we should come away from the table with restored and quiet hearts, in a better frame to serve the Lord and enjoy Him forever.
One more note, this one from a dietitian’s point of view. Too much tea has been associated with anemia, since the tannins in black tea bind iron. However if you use cream (we use half and half) it binds the tannins so they do not bind your iron. I am not sure if the tannins are a problem in green or herb blends of tea.
Pinkies up!
