A Little Lift
By now most of us are starting to get settled in our routines. Our schedules have been fine tuned and things are humming along.
We have put a feast of learning in front of our children, the fruit of all our labors of curriculum searching. Hopefully our students are tasting and sampling from the table.
I do not know about you, but I sure could use a dose of encouragement right about now as my expectations never seem to measure up to reality.
That encouragement came to me this week in the form of a post on an email group of moms who use the same curriculum I do.
One mom was bemoaning the fact that she did not see in her children what she had hoped for. She lamented, “I so want to raise them to be thinkers and learners, lovers of literature and good music. But they want Gameboys, pop music and Nickelodeon.”
Another wise mom, Linda Gaiser from Broadview Heights, Ohio gave such an uplifting response that I asked her if I could share it here and she graciously agreed. I hope it ministers to you as it did to me.
Linda’s answer:
First off, it sounds as if you’re an excellent homeschool mom who may be imagining that everyone else’s children hover around their mothers absolutely clamoring for “oh please, mama, just one more Shakespeare sonnet, pleeeasse.”
It helps me a great deal to realize the children (and I) are in a battle with our flesh which wants to drift and indulge in whatever activity gives us the most gratification at the moment. I don’t mind some modern fun, but moderation in everything and first things must come first (that’s the theory anyway).
It is not easy to cultivate appetites which benefit us in the long run (literature vs. Gameboy), but challenge us in the now, but I remind myself I must not grow weary in doing this good work which runs counter to everyone’s flesh. I am so grateful for these words from a wise mentor who told me, 
“Remember, motherhood is not a popularity contest.” I remind myself that I am a hardworking farmer who must wait to see the yields.
As an example, my two boys (ages 16 and 12) hated their strings lessons for the first year, but I held firm. Now they love playing their violin and cello (entering their sixth year) and they love classical music more than pop because pop is so boring to them. But it took time, effort and discipline to reach this point.
Whenever I must hold firm with the children, I make sure to wrap my admonitions in assurances that I do this for their good, because I love them and love the Lord. I bring Scripture forward. I try to have a playful spirit as well (my tendency is to be overly serious), laughing at all of our childish, sour ways.
Another tack to keep in mind: In Jewish culture, young boys were introduced to learning Scripture by placing honey on their slates for them to lick off to teach them the “sweetness of the Torah.” We can encourage our children to love their lessons by making sure we incorporate a bit of “sweetness” into their early experiences.
Acting out a portion of their reading or making a related craft or adding some other creative element will help the schoolwork come alive for them, become more personally relevent for them and most importantly, create a love for the richness of these works--a satisfaction they won’t be able to find elsewhere.
(My comment here. I am notorious for skipping most of those creative activities to go along with lessons. It usally seems like a waste of time plus I definitely do not need another mess to clean up, right? However sometimes what seems like a useless activity provides just the impetus needed for that wiggly distracted child to connect with the lesson at hand. But back to Linda’s words.)
Sometimes I need to groan with them (like we did when we first attempted Plutarch).
Sometimes I need to say, “Let’s hang on just a little longer, maybe the story will improve if we just stick with it.” (This happened when we did ”Westward Ho”). Sometimes I have to continue loving literature or nature study or whatever it is without their enthusiasm, assured that one distant day they’ll love it too (and this miracle has actually happened, 16 year-old son loved all 1,400 pages of ”Les Miserables”).
It is also important for us as moms to enjoy where we are right now. Sometimes we think things are hopelessly faltering, but really, we just need some new lenses to look through and see how truly lovely our family is — even with all the fl aws of its members.
I know my dear children do need my mother instincts to keep them moving on the right track, urging them higher up and further in, but I also try to give myself permission to enjoy them right now, guarding my heart from discouragement when reality doesn’t measure up to my expectations. We only have this precious season with our dear children about us and it’s awful how much of this season I’ve wasted feeling anxious & frustrated when I should have been relaxed and joyful.
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Thank you Linda for your reminder that we not get all bogged down in our fretting over what we do not see. “Relaxed and joyful” is what we long to be characteristic of our teaching time with our children. I for one am far from it. But there is such hope in the providence of God who longs to impart to us His wisdom and His grace. As Linda says, “Higher up and further in!”
